At a World's End
by fishy701
Summary: -Post finale- Zuko makes a journey to find his mother. Katara makes a journey to find her purpose after the war that defined her life ends. They learn to find themselves in each other after the crippling end. -Chicken Soup for the Zutarian Soul-
1. Golden but for Her

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I idolize the people who do. I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N: HOLY SHIZ YOO GAIZ. Avatar is over ;-; it's so sad. I cried multiple times.**

**I wrote this after seeing the finale. I got all sad and dare I say horrified that it was the END of the series, and I decided to transfer these emotions into an epilogue of sorts.**

**For a whole night, I couldn't sleep, and I was hit so hard that I was left sweating, shaking, and hallucinating in my bed. This is partially due to the fact that my county was shrouded in fog that night, but it still made it a hell of a lot less pleasant. xD I was seriously in a state of shock. Not fun. But after it ended, I realized why I was getting so depressed. It ended without leaving enough hope for things to come. In the last scene, it really wasn't the same show. It was fluffy, and over-romantic, and KATAANG. ugh. And it felt to me like the charas could really never be the same if they weren't fighting for something together. It just bugged me that they made everything so perfect at the end, because that's not what their lives are supposed to be like. xD**

**So, when the shock receded, I wrote this. I felt just like Katara does. Like I had no purpose. But this helped immensely. Like fandom therapy.**

**It started out as a oneshot, just about Katara's feelings about the ending, basically.  
It was a Zutarian outlook on what happened.**

**But then it grew to be something bigger, and hit the root of what could possibly be an emotional depression for our favorite little waterbender. xD It's a little angsty, but a lot of what you'll see is what I went through.**

**It takes place right where the show leaves off, and is centered around Zuko's journey to find his mother, and Katara's journey to find her purpose after the war.  
They are at Iroh's estate in Upper Ba Sing Se.**

**At a World's End,**

**Chapter one: Golden but for her.**

* * *

He finds her sipping tea on the porch in the middle of the night. The likeness between the two benders is inevitably clear at times like these.

"Hey," Zuko says, in a rough voice. Exhaustion seeps into his tone.

"Couldn't sleep," Katara says, eyes trained of the silhouettes of the buildings before them.

The two had learned quickly that a blunt approach was best when they needed the other's comfort. Neither can deny their closeness since their little field trip during the war. They had found that they could relate to each other an awful lot of the time. Katara had found a compassionate soul constantly there to comfort her. Zuko had found a patient listener, always open-minded.

"Me either." He states, a touch of concern etched into his tone.

She catches the hint. "I just…I can't believe it's over."

"I know," he says, sitting down next to her. She clutches her teacup a little tighter.

"Everything is going to change now." Her voice is high and scared. It relays the fear she keeps hidden around everyone else.

"I know." His statement comes out strangled, like a person about to cry. He sees that her eyes are already swollen.

"I don't think I can take this." This is what surprises him. She has never admitted blatantly that she was scared before. He has never heard this from her. Not once.

He raises his eyebrows at her, in a half sympathetic look. She goes on.

"It's just that…this war is all I've known. And now that things are peaceful, everyone expects me to…stay hidden and…and to be at rest."

He thinks he understands. "I know. We go around the whole damn world, and they think we'll be happy with a 'peaceful existence.' I'll miss even the hard times."

"Well that's part of it, yes," She states with a hint of uncertainty. She still has not looked him in the eye. Her knuckles are white against the teacup in her grasp.

"Being out there this past year was amazing. But it's like everyone else is still involved but me. Everyone expects me to go along with everything they ask of me. I have to take over the tribe in my father's place, since Sokka is staying with Suki. I have to apologize to the men of the northern tribe for insulting their stupid customs. I have to…be the avatar's loyal wife…" Her voice is small, but her mouth is contorted in a scowl.

He is staring at her. She knows it.

"I though you two were…" She is holding herself differently now. Her shoulders have gone tense and her arms are hugging her knees.

"I know. I thought so too. At one point it all seemed right, but we are not the same kids we used to be. And he's younger than I am, and innocent, and there's so much I just wouldn't feel comfortable with when I'm talking to him or-or…well," She trails off and swallows, a blush covering her cheeks. She looks mortified, trying to imagine this. _When I kissed him, it wasn't there. It wasn't._

Zuko feels sorry for the girl.

"And it's not just that, either. I'm not ready to be still again. My journey just isn't over. I still have to have some surprises left."

"I feel the same way."

"And we see the world so differently. He's such an optimist, and I feel like I could just punch through the canvas sometimes, like it's all just an illusion." Zuko starts to feel uncomfortable at this. "Everything's perfect for him, and he's supposed to get everything he wants, but as soon as something is wrong, he runs away."

"Katara…" She is beginning to ramble. A hint of hysteria touches her voice.

"I can't ignore these things like he can. Not everything would be perfect for us. But I don't get a choice. We don't think the same way. We've grown up, and moved on, and gone in such different directions, and nobody but me realizes-"

"_Katara." _He interrupts. She swallows and takes a breath. Her lip trembles. "I know how you feel. Believe me."

"You do?" she asks weakly.

This brings a sigh from him. He has to resist the urge to bring his arms around her. "I told Mai that I'm going to look for my mother in the Earth Kingdom. I told her she should find her own path. Something else for her to care about. She probably hates me now, but…" He looks at his feet instead of making eye contact with her.

"She couldn't hate you. She never will." Her words are kind. She is finally looking at him. This makes him feel even guiltier than he did before.

"I want her to." There. He said it.

He hears her take in a small gasp, and looks up at her to see her eyes widen, her eyebrows knit together.

"All she has ever done is follow someone's orders. She doesn't care about the rest of the world. She only cares about me, and nothing else.

"When she saved us at the boiling rock, she wasn't doing the right thing. She was just blindly helping me. That's all she wants. It feels wrong-I hate ordering people around. It makes me look like…" His tone had become weak. They were both reaching out.

"You're not like your father, Zuko. You never were."

_She read my mind, didn't she? _"You think so?" It comes out as a pathetic, desperate question and he doesn't care.

"Yeah. I do." They sit in silence for a while. The sun starts to illuminate the sky and color it a brilliant gold, though it had not peeked over the rooftops of the houses in Ba Sing Se's upper ring. Touches of blue teased at the corners of the golden sky.

It gave her an idea. "Hey, Zuko?" Her tone is mischievous.

"What is it?" _Should I be scared?_

"I'm going to help you find her." She smiles and stares at the almost blinding horizon.

He looks at her and sighs. "I'd like that," He says, knowing he doesn't have a choice in the matter. He can't help but smile at her choice of words. It was no coincidence, he knows. "You deserve to know that story… I had half been hoping you would want to…"

She lets the teacup down on the stairs of the porch. "Thank you," she says. "I'm glad this doesn't have to be an ending."

"I feel the same way."

* * *

**A/N:** **yeah, there's another three chapters or so on their way**

**It'll be good if you liked this.**

**This fic will be a send off, in a sense, but with a Zutarian twist.**

**As for Katara's character in this oneshot, I gave her a bit of a nudge in the zutarian direction.  
After Ember Island Players, we were almost sure she was gonna say no to Aang. But she didn't. It was a little random, and some of us can't get over that. Like me.**

**I mean, she just went through a life-changing experience with this other guy, hasn't talked to Aang in days, and doesn't even see him untill after everything is over. And A year later she is just ready to give in to being the avatar's girlfriend. I feel like Katara was doing that out of guilt or something. It was just too cheesey and overly romantic in the end to really be considered as an honest moment. I don't know how else to put it.**

**I think She was compensating for something, and felt like it was her duty to be the avatar's girl.**

**As for the "not ready to settle down" part, I felt like that's how all the charas might feel. I will bring this up again later, but it seems as if everyone would get the life they wanted, and stay active in the world, but for Katara. She was female, and back in her tribe, she probably would have been pushed away, and kept isolated from happenings in the world. And with Aang, she still would not have been recognized singularly, only as the Avatar's waterbender, because he is supposedly that much greater than her. Still, she probably felt like that was the best it could get.**

**Anyways, I hope this helped all those who were deeply disturbed by that finale. And I hope even more that those who weren't will not try to bash me for this. I wrote it for myself. Not to prove a point. It is merely chicken soup for the momentarily beaten Zutarian's soul.**

_**-Fishy**_


	2. Towards Some Distant Horizon

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I idolize the people who do. I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N: okay, I wrote it! second chapter! This one was a bit harder. It was a lot more informative and plot progressing than anything else. not much emotional development here.**

**I went about writing this chapter in a very unorthodox way. two days ago, the only thing I had written for this chappie was the kataang fight. xD From there I wrote the beginning of the chapter, and the dialog for the dinner, and some random lines in between. I typed it up this morning. Realized it was half assed. Edited and revised like crazy. Added a lot. When I don't want to write something it takes a really long time. But really tried my hardest on this one. v.v; **

**I have most of the rest written already, I think. I may have to change some stuff for the last chapter, and this is a short fic, and you are going to need everthing after chapter three at the same time. trust me.  
**

**this chapter is not as exciting, but it is necessary. I tried to write in some jokes and emotions. I took a lot of inspiration from Fandomme 'cause I loved stormbenders so much ;-; I may have failed. And it took a while to come up with a title. I've decided on a theme/inspiration for the titles though xD PATD's when the day met the night  
**

**At a World's End,**

**Chapter two: some distant horizon**

* * *

Katara's exhausted mind and body forced her to sleep in for the rest of that morning. Zuko waits for her to awaken to tell their friends. She would have to make it clear she was making the decision herself, he knows.

He does not hesitate, however, to relay his plans to his uncle, knowing the older man would understand all of this better than he did himself rather than jump to some hasty conclusion. Zuko spends his lunch break talking it over with Iroh, reminiscing and figuring out some obscure course of action.

"The last they'd heard of her was in the northeastern forests."

"She would have gone towards the coastline; she always loved the ocean."

That statement makes Zuko wonder (_or fantasize_) about just how close his mother and uncle really were. The idea gives him a strange kind of hope-his real mother, and his only father, together. Iroh had always known her better than his biological father did-but he has no time to dwell on it. By early afternoon, Katara is on her feet again, worn, but not the least bit fazed.

They tell everyone at dinner.

* * *

"EUUGH!?" Sokka yells in his usual way of making no intelligible speech.

Toph speaks up. "Yeah, why didn't you tell us? How long have you known about this trip?"

"I have been planning for weeks," Zuko states. "And I won't let it go, just to stay here with all of you."

"But-but…Kataraa?" Sokka whines.

Zuko sees the girl open and close her mouth, trying to come up with a response, and comes to her aid. "I believe that is Katara's decision, not yours, Sokka. After the incident with the southern raiders, we both feel that it is her journey too."

The thought of their mother shuts the other boy up up. _Spoken like a true diplomat, _Katara thinks.

"We leave tomorrow morning."

A more ignorant person would expect things to be peaceful after the conversation. Zuko and Katara are not that lucky, and they know it. Sure enough, there is yelling coming from the girl's bedroom long after most have gone to bed.

Zuko listens silently from the next room.

"Katara, why are you leaving right when everything is so perfect?"

"It doesn't feel like it's perfect to me Aang. You know I don't think like that."

"But I thought we were together now. We love each other. Why would you leave now?"

"Aang, I never told you that I was _in_ love with you!" Her tone goes from defiant to desperate in the space of a second. "I still don't know, okay?"

"But I _saved_ the_ world_, Katara! The war is over! Why can't you decide? What's wrong?" The boy sounds heartbroken. Zuko knew he took their relationship seriously. He didn't think this trip would mess them up so badly. _Like adding fuel to the fire._

She is practically screaming. "Love isn't a thing to be earned, Aang!"

Silence.

"Is that…is that how you saw it? This whole time?"

He stops listening after this, feeling like he had no right to eavesdrop on such personal matters. At least that's what he told himself. For some reason, he could barely bring himself to stop listening. He was…concerned.

Mai herself had cast glares his way all throughout dinner and their evening tea (because it's always tea). He had no doubt that she was silently demanding an explanation as to why Katara could be involved when he was casting her away. _Because she understands this trip like I do…_

He never does try to explain this to her. He knows she would never see the reasoning behind his excuses.

* * *

After all that tension, and one anxious night spent wondering where it will all take them, the morning arrives.

They all load onto the air bison to say their goodbyes outside of the city. Mai refuses to come along, not getting past her disgust over the animal.

After loading their scant bags onto the saddle, Zuko touches down onto the ground again. He turns around to face her, straightening.

The look she gives her is enough to wipe the smile off his face.

"I'm sorry, Mai."

"I'm sure you are." She sounded mad.

"I need to do this. She's my mother. I care about her."

"And I care about you, Zuko. Why are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I want you to find something better. Something you care about more. I don't want you to devote your whole life to me. I can't do that to you. There are other things in this world to care about." He already felt the futility of his words.

"I don't understand that." She looks up at him angrily and his eyes go cold.

"And I can't accept you until you do." She scowls, and sighs angrily (for the 14th time that day) before turning around and walking back into the estate.

He looks after her, feeling a little guilty. He forgets the whole thing when Toph yells, "Come on Hotman! Let's get this over with!"

Outside the city, goodbyes are said. It is a bit of an awkward moment for some ("I'm sure he can keep you company, Toph. Now will you please get off of me?"), and bitter for others (namely his exchange with Aang), but finally, he faces his uncle again.

Iroh has to tilt his head up to look him in the eye these days. "Make sure you say hello for me, Zuko."

"Of…of course, Uncle." It is one of the rare times he lets his uncertainty show. _I don't like leaving you._

"And Zuko…We could never stop loving you. She could not get mad at you." A proud but sad gleam shows in his eyes.

Iroh grabs him into a hug, surprising him. "O-okay, Uncle…"

"Goodbye, Zuko. We will see each other again soon. I am sure of it." He draws away, and squints his eyes in a smile. Zuko still has a question for him.

"Uncle…were you and…" he starts to say, but his uncle has already turned towards Katara, and is hugging her around the shoulders. The girl in question is laughing awkwardly.

He smiles briefly. His uncle had the valuable skill of knowing how to avoid a subject.

Finally it is time to leave. Zuko sees Katara share a glance with the avatar as he sits on the head of his most beloved pet. He sees her expression fall.

"Goodbye, Aang."

The boy looks away. "Yip yip!"

As their friends wave from his back, Appa grunts once and takes off, blowing dust into their faces. They turn around and start walking in complete silence.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asks, keeping his eyes trained forward. She tries to wipe her tears when he is not looking.

"I think so." He hears it as a desperate question.

Zuko doesn't know whether to feel more sorry for the friends they just left behind, or the girl walking next to him.

* * *

**A/N: okay. tell me what you think :3**

**Anyways, the thing about Iroh and Ursa, I believe is true. I think after Iroh's wife died he probably became close to Ursa. And after his son died...well. By the time he got home she was gone. This probably hit him hard. I didn't want to explore their relationship though. Sweet, but not the point of this fic. I may bring it up later. ugh. this is confusing.**

**I also tried to give a different perspective to Zuko and Katara's respective breakups xD people tend to get rid of the bad ships in a very ignorant way. I hope I pulled it off.**

**I hope you enjoyed this installment of 'Chicken Soup for the Momentarily Beaten Zutarian Soul' :D**

**Please review, and spread the word xD I like reviews. They are my crack.**

_**-Fishy**_


	3. The Pressing Fog

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I idolize the people who do. I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N:Well, here's the third chapter. :) This one was sad for me. How Katara feels is exactly how I felt after the finale. Not kidding. It got all foggy on saturday night and I was freezing cold, and sweating, probably from a fever, and I was crying. I got really depressed there for about three hours. Then I wrote chapter one, and it made me feel better xD**

**I like writing this story so much, because it is it's own remedy. By putting my emotions into it, I am helping beat the source of those emotions in an odd way. It brings things back, but with more hope.**

**Anyways, I really hope I was able to bring out the source of Katara's sadness here. I've read it so many times, I don't get sad reading it anymore. I'm not sure if it's just stale, or if it doesn't hold enough emotion. To be honest, there were other things I was going to touch upon in this chapter, but they were interrupting the flow of the scene, so I had to get rid of it xD The dialog was just a bit more important to me. oh well.**

**Enjoy,**

**At a World's End,**

**Chapter three: the Pressing Fog**

* * *

About three days into their journey, the weather turns cold, and the sky was shrouded in a layer of clouds. That morning, upon leaving the village they had stayed in, Katara had said nothing. Now, she looks to the sky with an unreadable expression on her face.

It is in his nature to worry about her. Neither of them is completely stable emotionally, you could say, and he knows she has a void to fill, and a purpose to find.

As they stopped in the woods to make camp, as the sun was setting, Zuko was starting to really worry about her. She had not said a word all day, and usually in this kind of weather, with a falling mist surrounding them, she would have been happier. Elated, even.

She refuses dinner that night, and sets up her tent with a sluggish physicality that contradicts her usual energy. Even these last few days of uncertainty had seen a more energetic young lady than today.

He wonders what could have changed. He makes no attempt to talk to her, fearing the response he may get. _Is she having second thoughts? Is she sick?_

Closer to midnight, he enters his own tent, feeling anxious about the waterbender and what may have gone through her head. _Is she really that unhappy?_

He briefly wondered if it was his fault, before hearing a whimper come from the tent next to his. All sounds outside of their campsite seemed muffled by the persistent fog. All he could hear were her teeth chattering from the next tent.

He decides finally to brush of his fears of what he may find as he opens the flap to her tent.

The sight is not a pleasant one.

She is lying, curled up, on her sleeping mat, with the blanket reaching only up to her waist. Her ribs are defined against her skin, only covered by scant wrappings, and he notices, with great concern, what toll the day must have taken on her.

She is shivering, she is sweating, and she is crying. Zuko has never seen the girl in such a state of utter weakness, and has no idea what may have prompted the change in mood. A sob racks her whole body and she shudders and moans in her sleep.

Her thrashing and shivering break him from his thoughts, and he shakes his head. He immediately goes over to her and covers her with her blanket up to her chin, tucking it under her form. She shakes again, letting out a very sad, very weak whimper.

He nearly cringes.

Instead of worrying about her further without a plan, he goes to his tent to retrieve his own blanket, thoughts running wild and never standing still. Her depression from earlier has manifested itself physically, he knows, and she needs to get through it herself. He can remember a time when he had felt the same, after giving up a part of himself.

He drapes the next blanket over her, with careful hands and sits down next to her to watch her for a moment. He looks at her-really looks at her-and he realized how much he truly cared about his friend. The only one who had ever seen both sides of him, and accepted him, regardless.

He brings a hand to her face to tuck a strand of sweat-soaked hair away from her face. Her eyes are red and swollen; her face is contorted in pain.

_And yet, she is still the most beautiful person I have ever seen._

The thought comes to his panicked mind without a warning and before he can make an effort to stop them, and immediately, he feels guilty. They both had their lives set out for them already, didn't they? _But isn't that why she insisted on coming with you anyways-to get rid of all those expectations? _Why was he getting so worried over this girl who could never even think of him that way? _Why would she never think of you that way?_

He would not allow such thoughts to continue in any case. _Enough of that._

Her teeth chatter miserably, and he tries to tuck the blankets around her securely without letting his thoughts stray from the task at hand. He fails, and doesn't know what to make of it.

Zuko walks silently to his own tent, goes to sleep for the night, trying to expel all thoughts of the waterbender from his mind. It is a hard thing to do without his blanket.

* * *

He is brewing a pot of tea the next morning, the effects of the night before showing just barely on his face. The sky is blue again and the sun is bright and hot. He watches her, silently, when she opens the flap to her tent, with a blanket still wrapped around her shoulders.

"I'm pretty sure this one is yours," she says, exhaustion coloring her eyes and draining some of the energy from her usual stride and stance.

He smiles weakly, obviously still worried about her. She takes no notice that the smile does not reach his eyes. "Just leave it in my tent. I'll pack it up later."

_She looks better,_ he thinks. But still, something is missing from her usual demeanor. The energy she usually holds herself with proudly is more contained, suddenly, as if something had been picking at subconscious habits the day before. She fidgets less, now. She does not play with her hair or wiggle her toes, or swirl around the tea in the teacup as he makes breakfast. All her quirky habits have disappeared. She seems still for the first time.

He plans to confront her about all this after breakfast, but she refuses to meet his gaze. She avoids making eye contact for the rest of the day, until they come to the next town, and even then only in the company of others, daring him to ask, in her usual silent way, as if she knows he would not risk their reputation by speaking out. He does not take the dare. He stays silent until that night, at the next inn.

He knocks at the door between their rooms. She opens it nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened to make him the least bit worried.

"Yeah?" she asks, no emotion showing on her face. Her eyes are testimony of the sadness she holds, however. She is exhausted and the dark circles prove that.

"Can we talk?" he responds, catering to their blunt nature. She sighs, steps out of the way, and sits on the bed pushed into the corner. He leans against the wall, knowing he will have to start the conversation, and steer it in the right direction.

Again, she refuses to look at him, and keeps her eyes trained on her hands in her lap.

"I need to know what happened to you yesterday." He states frankly and honestly. He knows it may hurt her to talk about it, but the statement is true.

She lets out a shaking sigh. "I don't really know myself. I think I was just sick. It's happened before, so…" She trails off, but the lie was obviously thought up beforehand.

"It's never happened like this," He states, defying her. "You know what happened. I know you do, and I know you need to talk about it." It comes off as an angry accusation. _Sometimes you have to be forceful with her._ The thought enters his mind in a dirty way.

She blinks, shocked at his outburst. She regains her composure and sighs, resigned. This almost worries him further, knowing she would have made more of an effort to deny it had she not been so tired. "It's just…well, I don't know what to think of myself right now, I guess."

He sits on the bed, next to her, finally feeling like he can finally soften up a bit now that she has started explaining. "What do you mean?" he asks, his voice rough.

"I don't even know myself. I was feeling just fine about everything that happened, then all of the sudden, I just cracked, you know. I mean, I felt bad about everything, but not that bad, and I couldn't get why I was so depressed."

He made a little noise of sympathy. "Hm."

"But there was all that fog, just when I was so ready to see everything, and I just felt like it was closing in, and I couldn't breathe, and everything was so quiet. I used to love that. It used to feel safe. But now, it's like some sick metaphor for everything I'm afraid will happen." She takes a shaky breath. Her lip trembles enough for him to know she is going to cry.

She is starting to ramble a bit, but he doesn't stop her. She needs to let all that out.

"I just don't want to be so closed off and isolated for the rest of my life. I finally got this chance to do whatever I want, but since the war ended, I'm suffocating." Her eyes start to glisten with tears. "I didn't want it to end, Zuko."

She pauses for a moment to take in one hysterical breath. He takes the hand that had been folded in her lap.

"I can understand that," he says. She doesn't believe him.

"But it's more than that. You don't get it. I had really loved all that time we spent being chased, and all the hard work, and every obstacle we had to face. It was the happiest time of my life." Tears stream down her face. "But when it was all over, I had no purpose other than those duties that would imprison me for the rest of my life. I was afraid that I had just ended." She lets out a sob. "Like everything I was disappeared."

He can only barely understand this. She was right, of course. She no longer had a goal, he felt the same sometimes, but was her identity really defined by the war? He wraps her arms around her, letting her cry into his shoulder. He felt his eyes sting, but willed the tears not to come.

"Last night, I just couldn't stop thinking that it was the end, and that I had changed for good, and I hated it. I don't want to be left alone because I can't connect with anyone anymore." She was flat out sobbing by now. Her tone was so desperate, and strangled, and it spoke across eons.

"Katara…" he says softly and roughly, trying to console her. She goes on.

"I was so depressed, and sick, and freezing cold, and I didn't want anything more than _this, _Zuko." He stops breathing for a second. His heart skips a beat. He then remembers that she needs him, and leans into her, holding on to her tight and feeling her quiver against his chest. _She didn't mean it like that. It's not the same thing._

She brings her arms up to rest on his shoulders. Her next statement is quiet and reserved. "You really are the best friend I ever made." It penetrates to his heart as if it were yelled in his ear. He doesn't know whether to be disappointed or elated.

"I feel the same way." He says, kissing her on the forehead, as if over taken by some natural instinct. _More than the same way. _He had failed to keep the emotions out of his voice.

He hears a sniff from her, and she digs her forehead deeper into his shoulder. She lets out a shaky sigh, and moves to sit up. Zuko lets his hands slide back down her arms to curl around her wrists. He sees her back arch up at this, just slightly.

Her eyes widen just enough for him to notice.

They exchange eye contact for barely a second. She gives him a shaky smile then draws away. "Thank you. I feel so much better." There is relief in her tone, and something else. If he didn't know her better, he would have sworn it was fear.

He grasps her hands tightly for a moment in a silent act of comfort, before letting go and standing up. "That's good… I guess I'll see you in the morning. Then. Goodnight." He doesn't know if he had kept the sadness out of his words.

He starts towards the door.

"Goodnight."

He stays up late, thinking of what could have happened, before letting sleep take him.

She stays up late, hoping to all the gods she can name that nothing will have changed between them come morning.

* * *

**A/N: okay, now I have a question for all of you:**

**I had planned to skip right to the ending scene, but I have more up my sleeve. There is a part I could write with some more...ahem...sexual tension between Zuko and Katara. It'd be a filler, mostly, but it would be cute. Do you want to see it, or do you want more emotional scenes? The next scene I have written kinda jumps into the end. I thought I'd give you the option.**

**So anyways, we are starting to see Zuko like her more... I don't know if I approached this quite right. I rewatched the finale, and I still have no freaking idea what the two were actually thinking when they were kissing their respective others so I couldn't honestly put in their thoughts about a possible new relationship. And I hate having to make that stuff up. It makes me seem cheap xD I hope you don't get mad at me for not putting in the obligatory "what would mai think" xD  
**

**But this was a little more juicy than I usually write, I guess, sorta, kinda. I am still racking my brain for ideas for the end. It's going to be sweet, I just don't know how I'm going to go about it yet. But things should be going fast. I got some summer school work out of the way, and I still have more to do, but there should be more updates at least until monday xD This fic will probably be finished by next weekend. o.o**

_**-****fishy**_


	4. The Hardest Hue to Hold

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I idolize the people who do. I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N: TTATT I'm sorry this took so long, you guys. I have a lot of work to do IRL right now, plus I have been writing the rest of the story too. Everything should be up before this weekend :) I was also trying to challenge myself with this one, and with the rest of the story. I don't know how it will all turn out, but I am enjoying it.**

**Things start to get a little happier in this chapter. This is the one chapter in the story where everything is normal. xD I was gonna add a part about them actually trying to find Ursa, but that is boring. I couldn't get myself to concentrate on it. I'll tell you what you need to know after this chapter. They skip a bit. I don't care. xD**

**In other news, this is the first story I have ever made with chapter titles. They're not all good. Some of them are from songs. Al relate to the sky in some way, I decided. That's what kinda reflects their moods. Hopefully it isn't too cheesy for all of you :D I know the last one will be from my favorite song (that I really want a zutarian AMV for...), Taking Back Sunday's "My blue heaven." The song has a really peaceful yet exhilarating mood, and the song meaning is really sweet too. It doesn't really fit this fic as much as my other oneshot, but I didn't know it until yesterday. shrugs In any case, if anyone out there makes AMV's, I have a request. I will explain more if you accept the offer. (I have no moneys to give, but I can do an art or fic to pay for it if you want)  
**

**At a World's End**

**Chapter Four: The Hardest Hue to Hold  
**

* * *

Zuko wakes up the next morning on edge. He stays in bed for half an hour after the sun has risen, already dreading the day and what it will bring. Somehow he knows something bad will come from their journey. If nothing else, his friendship with a certain waterbender is in jeopardy. _I never should have let her come. I'm ruining her whole life._

As they continue their trek, there has never been more of an awkward space between them. Not even when she had still been resentful toward him, before they had become friends. Back then it had just been mutual anger and guilt. Now…now they will always have that one moment hanging over them.

Zuko for one cannot stop thinking about what had transpired between them-the feeling that rushed through him. He had never felt that happy, scared, and exhilarated all at once. _Who would have guessed one simple touch could change things so much?_

But it did. The change had been big. Extraordinary even. People had always joked about a relationship between the two, and they had not though twice about such comments before brushing them off. But then there is one simple touch and they cannot stop thinking about it. They do nothing but think about it.

And suddenly, every moment is perceived by two dirty minds, now that the possibility exists, and each statement prompts some kind of innuendo or double entendre. Suddenly they are nothing more than two innocent, sex-brained teenagers.

Zuko would catch himself staring at the girl when she would walk in front of him. He had noticed her beauty before, of course, but it had never mattered to him until now. He finds himself staring at the crook of her neck and lets his eyes linger on the curve of her waist (_She looks so…soft,_ he thinks, gazing at her blue-clad form), and more than once, he would feel her icy stare on him. He finds himself wishing he could brush a hand against the fabric of her shirt or run a finger through the ends of her curls.

By the time they stop at the next campsite, the whole thing had really been getting pretty annoying, and yet he never stops.

It wasn't until that night that things had stopped being so painfully awkward.

They had been sitting on opposite sides of the fire, avoiding any physical contact and trying not to look at each other in vain, and having a nondescript conversation about different bending styles. Things had been going well.

As they finished dinner it had started to get late, and Katara had not been able to control her own mouth at the statement, "The move was easier than I had remembered. I thought it would have been harder."

He heard her snicker in a tired, drunken like way before, "…That's what she said."

Both broke out laughing, and suddenly the walls were broken down, each giving way to their dirty minds with a long series of sex jokes.

After that, both silently agreed to ignore whatever feeling it was that warned them.

* * *

"Ugh…I think I forgot how much I hated walking…" It was her third such comment that day. Zuko didn't know whether to be annoyed at her complaints or to be relieved she was talking to him again.

The sun had finally come out that day, and the result was two hot, sweaty, energetic but slightly travel-worn benders, walking side by side.

Zuko pulls a map from his pack, rolling his eyes and letting out an overly dramatic sigh. He pulls the scroll taut.

"Hm…" He says, stroking his chin and studying the map. She doesn't notice it is upside down. "We should be at the next town by…next month."

They now come to the top of a forested hill, and stop to look at the view that had been hidden before. A sprawling village is visible on the horizon across from them.

She snorts through her nose before rolling her eyes. She watches him silently as he rolls up the map and slips it in with the rest of his things. Zuko pretends not to notice.

They start walking again, making the descent down a jagged path. They have to skip around the rocks jutting out every couple steps.

"Oh, _great,_" she says sarcastically, half concentrating on not tripping. "That means we should find your mother by the time you're thirty." She throws him a mischievous look.

He brings his chin up and sticks his chest out, walking slowly and regally. "Firelords don't _age,_ Katara. I would expect you know that." He falls behind her, keeping a slower pace, lips curling into a smirk. "I'm in no rush." His eyes are smiling.

"Well _I_ am." She states haughtily turning around and grabbing his arm with both hands. She pulls him by the wrist, trying to get him to walk faster. "And I would like to still be looking this young by the time we finish with-"

As she says this, she trips over a stray rock, flying towards the ground and pulling him down with her. She contorts her face and shuts her eyes, bracing herself. There is a brief moment where they are both suspended in the air, arms flailing.

She lands on her back with him keeping her flat on the ground. "Ouch" His chest is pressed against hers, their legs intertwined. She opens her eyes wide and looks away. "Sorry, umm… could you…?" She finds it hard to breath, being pressed up against him like this. A blush covers her cheeks as she smiles apologetically.

Suddenly, he is laughing. His chest shakes against hers before he brings himself off her, propping himself up on his hands and knees. She imagines how this might look to a traveler or something, a girl on the ground and a man straddling her, and starts to laugh too.

"How did this happen?" She brings a hand up to her head and they laugh together for a good five minutes, with heaving shoulders and stitches in their sides.

Soon they are panting, smiles plastered to their faces, and Zuko brings his head up, opening his eyes to look at her for a second.

Their eyes meet. Once again that feeling comes through him, his senses screaming a warning. He smiles apologetically, ignoring it. "I'll just get off you now." He pushes himself off of her, not looking nearly as graceful as he had just moments ago.

He gives her a hand to help her up.

"Now let's move on," she says with a grunt, standing up again. "I want to get out of this forest and into a shower. I'm covered in dirt." She smiles at him.

Katara doesn't notice him watching as she brushes the dirt off her clothes, or the heat spreading over his face at the word, "shower."

* * *

**A/N: awww. Isn't that cute? He's fallin' in lurve. mkay. Anyways, I hope this was satisfactory to you all. I know it's a little slow at the beginning. I also know how cracked up that joke was :D I had fun with it.**

**This chapter was never really necessary to the plot. I just wanted to show how close they are and how much fun they have with each other when they are not depressed. things take a turn later.**

**thank you, all my wonderful reviewers. I know that isn't many, but that's okay. You guys are all so nice to me :3**

**I really hope I am approaching all this the right way. If not, feel free to tell me. :D**

_**-Fishy**_


	5. When it Rains

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I idolize the people who do. I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N: So, I finally got this done :D It took a while because I did like 3 rewrites. It come out a little short, but there is a reason for that. I will explain more later.**

**This takes place a week after the last chapter. Obviously. That's not the point. The point is that they spent a week searching starting from the last place the fire nation heard from about three years ago. They followed her trail until they came to a dead end. I didn't make this part up. I don't know how their leads ran out. I didn't have enough of an attention span to figure it out xD Maybe they came to a deserted house where she was supposed to live or something. I don't know. But now they are walking along the beach, towards the next town to stay at an inn because it is going to rain.**

**This chapter was based on GreenifyMe's pic on dA, "sadness and sorrrow." It is not that hard to find. Just search "by:greenifyme" on deviantart. You can get to her gallery from one of the pics. It's on the first page. xD**

**Atmospherics: I listen to "I'll cover you (reprise)" from rent while writing/reading this. It has the theme I wanted in here, even if it is a little cheesy. xD You're choice. But this chapter is sad. You have been warned.**

**At a world's end,**

**Chapter five: When it rains**

* * *

After a week of interrogations, hunting leads, going from town to miserable town and chasing stale rumors, they find themselves at the northern coastline. The two benders walk steadily along the beach in complete silence, and the grey sky gives an ominous warning. Of what, she is not sure, but Katara knows not to say anything. _He'll talk when he's ready._

Their leads have run out. They are at the end of their long, miserable quest, and it has availed them nothing._ We were having fun a week ago, but now…_Now his jaw is set and his face holds no emotion as he practically stomps down the beach in a most regal way.

But Katara knows it is just a façade. A mask. She knows him well enough to figure it out.

After all, Zuko has lost almost all the people he's loved in his life at some point or another. It seems tragic for one man, let alone a mere boy, to go through so much, and unthinkable that so many good souls could disappear in one lifetime. (_It's like a slowly fading painting_.) Yet, as they walk through the approaching mist, Zuko stays a good five steps ahead of her with the appearance of utmost composure.

Even as they accept their failure, the grey sky presses down on them from all angles, and a familiar feeling has settled on her nerves. The uneasy feeling of things yet to come. Not hope, exactly, but Katara knows that their search is not over yet. It is a feeling of anxiousness-anticipation of the unknown-dread.

And something is going to happen. She is sure of that.

As Katara observes their surroundings, on edge, Zuko keeps his face forward and his eyes set on the horizon as they make their way towards the next town. Maybe a mile yet to go. Zuko sets his concentration on making it seem like he still has a purpose and a mission, but the only thing he can think about is his most recent failure.

His hopes had been crushed. It is that simple. His purpose seemed to die as their last lead fell through, and Zuko's goal to bring his family together, because he finally _could_, turned to dust before his eyes. Zuko has failed. Again.

In his angry stupor, he fails to notice the darkening grey sky, the approaching fog, and anything but the path ahead. All he sees is his mother's face as she said "goodbye" for the last time and the image of a burning family portrait.

_Just one thing, _He thinks. _All I had to do was just find you. All I wanted was to have a family again. I have a real father now. We could have been together. Is it too much to ask to-_

"Zuko." She interrupts his thoughts with a weak voice.

"What?" he asks, failing to keep the anger and pain from seeping into his words. _What could she possibly want?_

He turns around and notices, finally, that she has fallen behind. She is standing yards away, facing the cliffs and staring at the clustered rocks jutting out of the sand.

Silence. She turns her head and looks him in the eye. Her eyes hold pity in their gaze and she is biting her lower lip. She looks back at the rocks without a word.

He immediately feels guilty about getting angry with her. He walks over to her and tries to reach for her hand.

She brushes him off, drawing her hand away from him. "Look."

He hesitates.

Then he looks.

There is something shaped and polished set into the rocks. A plaque with sharp corners and engraved with the last word he wants to see.

_Ursa..._

It is a memorial. A memorial for his mother, saying that her ashes had been scattered and washed away into the ocean. _My mother. Dead. _

He kneels down stare at it, eye level with his mother's name, without a single word. Then the chord snaps. It hits him in one moment, and the words connect, and something inside him falls away, and the dam breaks. _My mother is dead._

He begins to shake, slumping down onto his hands and knees, the weight of his world crashing down on him, forcing him to the ground. He is aware of only the fact that he is about to break down completely.

_She's gone. I could have had a _family_._

The tears start to fall, making little pits in the sand below him. His jaw is clenched and his nose wrinkled. There is a roaring in his ears. His body starts to heave and shake. His senses leave him and he goes numb.

Zuko lets out an anguished cry. He yells out in complete despair. "_No!_"

_We had a chance. It was all there. But I've lost it._

Somewhere in the deep haze of pain gathering in his chest and head he is aware of her kneeling down next to him. He hears his name come out of her mouth. "Zuko…" She calls softly as if afraid that he _will_ hear her. It is not enough to hold on to and his shaking escalates. He is sobbing now, and in a state of complete agony. His face is contorted in pain and rage at the one thing he could never think of losing.

He feels her hands on him, tracing comforting circles on his back and giving him an almost affectionate touch on his wrist. _I can't lose anyone else._

Another sob shakes him, and suddenly, all the boundaries he knows of come crashing around their ears. He is a broken soul with a broken family and he needs to hold on to what he has. He throws his arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. _Nothing will ever hurt you. I will make sure of it._ He cries out to her without voicing words, making a silent vow that he will never lose her. He holds her as if he never intends to let go.

A single drop of rain hits him on the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Icy drops start to come down on them. They are painful, the cold biting them as if threatening to pierce through their skin and clothes.

He feels her shake. He hears her let out a sob of her own. He knows she is crying. His hands crawl up to her shoulders. She wraps her arms around him as his fingers dig into her form and his tears soak into her shirt.

She lets out a shaky breath, his weight finally pulling her down from her kneel to sit on the sand, holding him tight against her. Se brings up a hand to weave her fingers through his hair and rests her cheek on his shoulder.

Tears stream down their faces and they cling to each other, shaking, as the wind picks up and the rain starts to pour down on them, chilling them to the bone.

* * *

**A/N: and it goes on later. I will probably have the rest of this fic up before sunday.**

**And I am sorry this is so short xD I know people want me to make things longer, but I can't force it. This was a short moment here. I think I added all it really needed. I could have put in more, but it would have screwed up the flow...so whatever.**

**Anyways, I worked pretty hard on this. I must have rewritten it three times. It started out as a oneshot in my notebook writing out GreenifyMe's pic. I never posted it, because I thought it was stale. Then I rewrote it to fit this story. It was still stale. Then I rewrote it again to put it on here, and added all the emotions and imagery I wanted to put in and I think it turned out alright. Please tell me if it makes you cry or not. I need to know xD**

**I think I have used rain in a crying scene before. I am sorry for that. That was in my old (retarded) fic. This one means something different anyways. The rain is just another factor that keeps Zuko from going numb. It is exhilarating, and it hurts, but it is one of the only things that can get through to him right now. It is what helps him realize that he needs to hold on to her. xD**

**The next chapter will be a little emotional too. It will probably be the end. I may have an epilogue or something. I promise you that I will try to do this story justice with the next chapter. It is already half written. I was gonna add a make out scene, but I decided against it. I need to reconfigure it now. Please don't kill me.**

_**-Fishy**_


	6. The Wind Starts to Blow

**Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: the last airbender. I respect the people who do. ****I am not responsible for any trauma you may experience when reading this piece of purely fan-made fiction. I make no profit off of the characters or concepts of Avatar: the last Airbender.**

**A/N: wow, so I'm a huge liar. I believe this chapter was supposed to be finished and posted almost three years ago now?**

**Anyways, if I have any readers left, I should let you know that I've changed a lot, in my habits, my writing, and my personality. I think I abandoned my friendly internet face a long time ago, and my attitude now is a lot less cheerful, so pardon the absence of the usual smileys you find in the author's notes if you like that sort of thing.**

**The important thing I needed to say though, to reference last chapter's footer, is that I was going to add a make-out scene, and then decided against it. the reason for that is because at the time I had never been kissed before and aside from not understanding the pure mechanics of doing that, I felt like a huge, cheesy fraud writing about the _feelings_ involved in kissing someone, which I had never experienced. The reason I never wrote anything else, was because I _could not_ find another way to end it that wasn't just like one of my oneshots or something like that.**

**But things have changed, and I'm stuck in bed with a cold this week, and I got a favorite on one of my other fics, and that reminded me that, '_hey. _I could_ totally _write this now_.'_ So without further ado,**

**At a World's End**

**Chapter six: The Wind Starts to Blow**

* * *

Zuko knocks on the door between their rooms that night as a heavy rain crashes down on the windows of the inn.

"Come in…" she calls out drowsily. He opens the door to see her looking up at him from her pillows. She blinks, barely able to focus, and there is a long silence where all they hear is the comforting sound of the rain washing over the side of the inn.

She speaks first ("Come here."), before shifting around to sit up on one side of the bed, leaning against her pillows. She leaves a space for him to sit beside her in an oddly consoling gesture, and with that, he lays himself down by her side and looks at her with a weak, grateful smile.

Katara looks him in the eye with a worried expression, obviously noticing the way pain touched his features and his good eye slightly swollen from spending half the night in tears. His smile falls.

Silently, she moves to rest her head on his shoulder, and she closes her eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He swallows before letting out a ragged sigh. "I don't know. I just..." the words start to tumble out of his mouth. "I never expected this to happen." _Yes, I want to talk about it._ _I need to._

She brings her arm out of the blankets to take his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together in a silent gesture. _Go on._

He starts to stroke his thumb against hers absently, watching their intertwined fingers instead of looking her in the eye. "Ever since I found out she could still be out there-ever since he told me she wasn't killed, I held onto that hope with everything. I had thought that..."

He trails off, biting his lip. _How do I tell her?_

She squeezes his hand, urging him on silently and he glances over at her to see her looking up at him with concern in her blue eyes.

"I thought I could have a family again." His voice is sad and broken. _So much for staying calm. _"And with my Uncle, too. I _knew_ there was something between them. There always had been.

"Ever since he lost his own family, he found one with us, but then she left." He gets louder with each sentence and suddenly he is angry, trailing off in a blind rant. "He's lost so much. And _I've_ lost _so _much. She was banished because she tried to protect me and I could never do anything to help her."

He stops and breathes for a second and notices how tight her grip on his hand has become. The steel in his voice cracks and he is no longer angry, but pleading.

"I'm _always_ being torn away from people I care about and I don't..." He looks her in the eye, and notices she is crying and her lip is trembling. His expression is full of pain as he sees what has been in her blue-eyed gaze ever since he earned her forgiveness, and sees again what he could never bear to let go of.

He swallows and takes in a shaking breath. "I don't want to lose anyone else, Katara. I cant."

She bites her lip and closes her eyes, letting out a sob. She ducks her head and brings their intertwined hands up as they listen to the rain come down on the windows. He brings a comforting hand to her arm, touching her gently. As she lets another breath out through trembling lips, she takes her hand off his, and brings it to his chest-to the scar he received a year ago on the day of Sozin's comet.

She fingers the burnt tissue lightly, through his shirt, sending waves of a familiar, unnamed feeling through his body and he holds back a gasp. _Does she know what this does to me?_ There is a muffled boom of thunder from outside the inn.

She blinks, fingers still on the scar on his chest. "...You took that...for..." She trails off breathlessly, giving a sad smile through her tears.

"I could never lose you." They are inching closer, bordering on an embrace. "I just didn't…" Zuko swallows, and she looks up at him. "I didn't know why until now." He is fingering her arm, her wrist. His breath caresses her cheek.

"Now?" Katara brings her head up again, seeing just how close their faces are to each other and her breath catches in her throat.

His free hand is used to brush strand of hair away from her face and her eyes flutter closed as that unnamed feeling rushes through him, exhilarating and free.

And he kisses her. It is an innocent, awkward moment at first, caught between her trembling lips and his hesitant ones. But then he breaks away. He looks at her, and she looks at him, and in a single second, they come together. Their kiss deepens. His hand moves to her waist, hers slide up to his shoulders, his neck, into his hair. He takes her lower lip with his teeth. Her leg moves to rest between his, and she feels his entire body react.

He lets out a small grunt, and she smiles as he breaks away, shifting, and suddenly she is on her back, and he is on top of her, legs intertwined, and his lips on her cheek, her neck, her shoulder. She moans, quietly. Her hands move down his chest, grasping his shirt, and bringing him closer, and she takes his mouth with hers again, arching her back closer to him.

"Mm…" he lets out in between kisses. "Katara…" Her head swims at the sound of her name. He kisses her again, and again, growing more tender, and gentle, and finally, he rests beside her, bringing her to face him and holding her tight. He rests his head in the crook of her neck and her shoulder, and she can feel his soft hair on her cheek. Her hand moves to the back of his neck, to play with his hair, gently.

"Katara," he says, moving away to look her in the eye. "These past few weeks have been torture." She goes red, and raises her eyebrows at him, the giddy feeling in her chest making her want to laugh, despite his serious tone. "But I have realized because of that, I don't think I could ever leave here and live my life again with out you there." She covers her mouth with her hand and felt her eyes well up, not bothering to hold back a smile. "And I'll be damned if you don't feel the same way."

Finally, Katara lets out a giddy, almost nervous laugh, and her arms move around him to hold him tight. She tucks her head into his shoulder and lets out a shaky breath. "I feel the same way, Zuko."

They lay together in silence for a long time in a tight embrace, as the thunder rages outside, and as a wealth of emotions wear down on them, slowly forcing them to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: _maybe _one more chapter. maybe. I can't make any promises, just because this isn't my priority, and I have so little muse for writing these days. **

**-_Fishy (now SoulxConspiracy on most sites)_**


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